The Mirror We Avoid

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 Sometimes I write to process my own flaws.

Not because I have it all figured out but because I’ve seen how easy it is to fall into patterns I swore I’d break.

Today I’m calling myself out and maybe you’ll feel a little of yourself in these words too.



It’s crazy how easy it is to point fingers.

We blame our parents for how we were raised.

We blame our partners for how we feel.

We blame society, the system, the weather, anything… anyone but ourselves.


And maybe some of that blame is valid.

Maybe people did hurt us. Maybe things were unfair.

But staying in that blame is comfortable. It gives us an excuse to stay stuck.


Because the minute we admit we played a part

That we made a choice even if it was out of fear or anger or pain

That’s when things get real.

That’s when the healing starts but so does the accountability.


It’s easier to say “they made me this way”

than to say “I chose to react like that.”

But growth doesn’t come from denial.

It comes from honesty, the brutal kind. The kind that humbles you.


We’re all selfish sometimes.

We make decisions that benefit us in the moment even if they hurt someone else.

We ignore the voice in our head that says “you could’ve handled that better.”

And instead we distract, defend, deflect.


But the truth is

Healing is hard. Growth is harder. Responsibility is the hardest.

But if we want to stop repeating cycles in our relationships, our parenting, our lives

We have to stop playing victim to our own story and start owning it.


It’s not about blaming ourselves for everything.

It’s about saying “Yes this happened. And now it’s on me to choose who I want to be next.”



I’m still learning. Still unlearning.

Still catching myself when I slip into blame.

But the more I sit with truth the more I understand taking responsibility doesn’t make me weak. It makes me free.


Thanks for reading.

If this hit you let it sit. Then let it move you.


With love,

Ruby


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