Reflection: 200 Copas and the Girl I Used to Be

Inspired by Karol G’s “200 Copas,” this reflection is my way of processing a moment in my past where I forgot to choose myself.

There’s something about Karol G’s “200 Copas” that takes me back—not just to a memory, to a version of me I had almost forgotten. The one who gave everything just to feel loved. The one who thought if I tried hard enough, stayed quiet enough, gave more than I had, maybe I’d finally be enough for someone.

One time, I found out that the person I loved most, the one I called the love of my life, was talking to someone else. I can still feel that moment. The fear. The confusion. The way my heart sank and my mind started asking questions I didn’t know how to answer. Was I not enough? Did I do something wrong? Could I fix it if I just tried harder?

Back then I didn’t understand what was happening. I didn’t understand that I was slowly losing myself. I was so focused on keeping someone else that I forgot to hold onto me. I gave up my voice, my peace, and the parts of me that used to shine, hoping to be chosen.
Now when I listen to “200 Copas” I think of that girl. I see her pain, her loyalty, her quiet strength. I want to tell her, “You were always enough. You just gave your heart to someone who didn’t know how to hold it.”

This song reminds me that love shouldn’t make you feel small. It shouldn’t make you compete with silence or question your worth. Choosing yourself might hurt at first. It heals in ways begging never will.

Today I choose me.

Have you ever had a moment when you realized you were losing yourself in the name of love? What helped you begin to find your way back?